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Healing the Wounds of Emotional Abuse
by Yukio Phillips
The effects of emotional abuse go beyond the end of the abusive relationship. All of a sudden you are thrown from an environment of familiar chaos to a place where you are left with your own thoughts and no road map.
During the relationship, you felt like you could not trust your own instincts and games were played with your mind. Even though you left the abuser, you are left with the residue of thoughts around the clock.
The most important building block for your recovery is validation and self-approval.
If you are like me, you are probably looking at these words as somewhat foreign. The only validation you may have received in your relationship came from your abuser in the words--you are not enough, and why can't you just do what I ask. Are those words familiar?
In order to feel that you are worthy of being in recovery and break the cycle of entering into another abusive relationship, learning to sense your own value and approving of yourself must become priorities.
How do you learn how to validate yourself?
1.Detach from needing the approval of others. When you concentrate on approving yourself from your own set of guidelines, you will be able to see and praise your own progress of recovery. It gives you a great sense of hope and confidence that you took a step to do something differently.
2.Baby steps, baby steps. Okay Ladies, let's have fun with this one. Is it hard for you to feel a sense of accomplishment unless you solve world hunger? And even with that, you want people there to tell you how wonderful you are. In my own experience of recovery, this was and still is a work in progress.
Even though you were expected to be an unpaid mind reader in your relationship, you can now relax and enjoy your own victories no matter what they are. This time you set the rules. This will help you to develop confidence in enjoying yourself without needing the opinions of others.
3.You are fabulous. Just because. You were created by God, and his life is in you; you are enough. Every day you take a step to apply this truth, you will start to believe it. You may be used to your mood being determined by the response from others, and this step may seem a little uncomfortable at first. Whatever you do, just do your personal best and know that is all anyone can do.
If you apply these three steps in your life consistently at your own pace of validating and approving yourself, you will be on your way to living the life of your dreams.
You are a bold woman worthy of the life you want to live!
Yukio Strachan Phillips is an author and Registered Pharmacist with a Doctorate in Pharmacy. As creator of www.boldandworthy.com, her passion is to empower women to identify and shatter false beliefs that keep them in abusive relationships. Her special area of focus is raising awareness of spousal abuse in Church Communities across the world.
Contact the author, Yukio Phillips
, at yukio@boldandworthy.com
.